She had always been loved, but never pampered.
Her needs were fulfilled, but not all her wishes had been heard.
She never demanded, or never complained;
Never hungry for fame.
She was satisfied with the life she led, a happy being she was,
Trouble to anyone she would never cause
She was every man’s dream,
But she was never hungry for all the cream
She had something in her which made her unique,
Her emotions she would never let leak.
She had a fire in herself which would make everything possible for her,
She never let herself break; she held each pure part of her together.
Never sabotaged, always chaste – that describes her best.
They say love knocks on your door when you expect it the least, and it was true for her,
She had fallen head over heels for Him, when he was around she would just look at him, rest of the world would get blur
She never thought he would feel the same,
Feelings of sadness gripped her mind, feelings of anxiety came
Every single night, she cried until her tears dried
He had taken her emotions for a ride,
And the best part was- he didn’t even know
He never knew about the emotions that in her mind would flow.
But secretly, he loved her more than anything he could possibly love
She to herself was an ugly duckling, but to him she was the prettiest dove.
She didn’t have the perfect face,
Or even the tiniest waist.
But he was never interested in materialistic things; inner beauty was important to him
In that she was certainly proper and prim.
One fine day he asked if she would marry him, she was mum.
She had never been a Princess to anyone,
But if it was for him, she was ready to make an exception.
For she knew, there would be no chance of deception.
As I look closer, I see my mother sway.
With flawless skin and perfect hair, I see her looking at me,
She has a crazy look in her eyes as she continues staring at me.
Looking at her gleaming eyes, I’m awe struck.
I forget all she did to me, how she screwed up my fate and luck.
When I was tiny and fragile, she left me crying,
Slowly I was dying.
What she did to me no mother ever would,
What she did to me no mother ever could.
She walks towards me and I hear the familiar footsteps,
All what she did to me is slowly coming back, how she wasn’t there when I first smiled, how she wasn’t there to wipe the tears I wept.
How she wasn’t there when I needed her the most,
How I never had a mother about whom I could boast.
Without any reason, she left, and I hoped and prayed and wished she would come back,
But…she didn’t, because maybe feelings of love she lacked.
All my life I spent cursing and hating her;
Wishing her to be near.
She had chosen a different path, after all
From the edge where she put me, she had let me fall.
When I finally met the mother who made my life hell, I froze with fear
Whatever excuses she made for leaving I forced myself not to hear.
I couldn’t speak, hear or sense,
All my life, I had seen her from behind a blurry lens.
I couldn’t believe she was no supernatural power, but actually a mortal being,
I couldn’t believe with my own two eyes I was seeing.
But what she did to me was beyond the pale
She turned her back on my and pretended not to hear me wail
So, I do the same,
And let her rot with shame.
I force myself to forget the bond we shared, to forget the mother daughter we ever were,
..And I close my eyes as tight as they can go, I let the tears drip and I walk out on her.
Also, this is my 40th post. Cheers to me! :D
Seems like yesterday when I started this blog. Time flieeeees.
One thousands thoughts come to my mind,
Answers I'm looking for I can't find.
Questions are in abundance, but replies to none.
Every time I try to defy life, I realize it has won.
I am confused, and still in a daze;
Very astounded with life’s ways.
Each time I try to be strong,
It rips me apart and proves me wrong.
I have started doubting my reason for living,
Now I’m so fed up of existing.
So, I take the blade and bring it near my wrist
My entire life plays like a black and white movie in front of my eyes,
All the truths come back and so do the lies.
The people who made me proud and the one’s who let me down,
The ones who spread smiles and the ones who spread frowns.
As I think about them, a tear trickles down my face,
I digest the fact that I’ve lost this race.
I gave it my best shot, but it wasn’t enough,
I tired to overcome all the hurdles, no matter how rough.
I climbed the hills, crossed the rivers, and did every possible thing to win,
But sadly it wasn’t as much it would take to get in.
Maybe someone deserved life more than I ever did,
Waiting to enter the rat race, maybe there was a special kid.
So, with absolutely nothing in my head, I stare at my wrist and force my hand to slit it in two ; Finally, I am at ease
After going through hell, I had granted myself eternal peace.
