Never seen-THIRTEEEEEEN

As I look back, I finally realize I've grown as a person. I've left parts of me behind. I've become a lot less judgmental in the past year. I've started appreciating the good things in life and I've started counting my blessings. This time, last year things were bloody different. I was close to so many people I'm not even in touch now, and trust me, it feels so weird. I'm not saying that it was all their fault, because it was not. I just don't know what happened..we drifted apart. There was nothing much I could do to help it, either. The good part, however, is that I came to know who are the people who've been true to me, not only on my face, but also behind my back. Let's get real, people, everybody is bitched about, no matter what you do, you will be judged, but you know what? It's entirely your choice how you take it, you either let the people bring you down or, you just don't care and smile and live life like everything is perfect. I chose the latter, I did. What is the point in being sad about comments made by people who don't even matter? Whatever mistakes I made in the past, I regret nothing. Absolutely nothing. They helped me grow. I've realized it's okay to be weak sometimes. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be low. But, in the process, we must not forget how to be happy. We must not forget there's much more to life than one person. We must cherish I chose to be happy with the people around me. I chose to stop finding faults. I chose to love. I chose to smile. I chose to live.

Here is to new beginnings,

to happiness,

to love,

Here's to twelve beautiful trips around the sun

Here's to my thirteenth trip.

Happy thirteenth to me :D

"..you're the same person who kept me sane all along"

Here we are, sitting in the soothing winter sun, trying to figure out our respective lives, and for a change, I like the sound of silence. It is the most comfortable silence of my life. Suddenly, you say, I've changed. You say that my sense of humor has changed, my way of perceiving things has changed. You say my hairstyle has changed, my scent is unfamiliar to you. You say I've lost my twinkling eyes, which have been replaced by dull, normal eyes. You say I don't wear my eyeliner like I did earlier, or how my style of dressing has changed completely. You say I've turned into a laid-back, carefree and lazy person.

But you know what? You haven't changed a bit. You're still beaming. The color in your cheeks is still pink. The twinkle in your eyes still remains. You're wearing the same genuine smile. You're the same person who's scent I loved. Your hair are still the same. Messy, yet, adorable. You're the same person who picked me up when I fell in class, after making fun of me and laughing your lungs out for 5 minutes straight. You're the same person who forgave me for every silly mistake that I made, and even the horrid ones.You're the same person who didn't walk out on me even when you thought you should. You're the same person with whom I plan my career and laugh at how you're so confused between Commerce and Humanities. You're the same person with whom I share a million insiders which just multiply as days pass by. You're the same person with whom I know I will laugh my wits out even when I'm low.You're the same person who taught me how to chase my dreams, and catch them, too. You're the same person who comforted me when I was upset. You're the same person who was there for me when I wasn't in a state to be there for myself. You're the same person who held my hand, hugged me tight and went through every stage of life with me and never complained once. You're the same person with whom I share all the technicolored memories. All of them. I'm not exaggerating. Most of my friends know who I am, my fears, my doubts, my strengths, my weaknesses, but do you know the difference between them and you- they just know, but you know WHY. That's what makes you different.

And special. I love you.

100 truths

1. Last beverage- Coke

2. Last phone call - Dad

3. Last text message- Geetika Rai

4. Last song you listened to- Professing my love-Karl Wolf

5. Last time you cried- Err, don't remember

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:

1. Dated someone twice- No

2. Been cheated on?- No

3. Kissed someone & regretted it?- No

4. Lost someone special?- Yes. She's an angel now. Miss you, Ipshita

5. Been depressed?- Yeah.

6. Been drunk and threw up? - No.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:

1. Black

2.Pink

3.Purple

4.Blue

5. Yellow

HAVE YOU:

1. Made new friends - Yeah.

2. Fallen out of love- Err, haven't fallen in love, yet:P

3. Laughed until you cried- Yeah. All the time :')

4. Met someone who changed you- Yeah.

5. Found out who your true friends were- Yeah I did.

6. Found out someone was talking about you- Yes. And then stopped talking.

7. Kissed anyone on your Facebook friend's list- Nope.

8. How many people on your Facebook friends list do you know in real life- most of them.

9. How many kids do you want to have- I hate kids.

10. Do you have any pets- No.

11. Do you want to change your name- Never.

12. What did you do for your last birthday- Called a few friends over.

13. What time did you wake up today- 10 pm

14. What were you doing at midnight last night- Coming back from a dinner I'd gone to.

15. Name something you CANNOT wait for- Tennis practice at 7.30 am tomorrow. (not really :P)

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- Life might not be perfect, but it's beautiful

18. What are you listening to right now- Nothing

19. Most visited webpage- Facebook and Blogger.

1. What's your name- Aastha

2. Nicknames- None

3. Relationship Status- Single

4. Zodiac sign- Aquarius.

5. Male or female or transgendered- Female

6. Elementary- Sacred Heart Senior Secondary School, Chandigarh

7. Middle School- Sacred Heart Senior Secondary School, Chandigarh

8. High school- Sacred Heart Senior Secondary School, Chandigarh

10. Hair color - Black.

11. Long or short- A little beneath the shoulders.

16. Height-A little more than 5'6"

17. Do you have a crush on someone?- Nope

18: What do you like about yourself?- Er, that I can make others happy. Lol :P

19. Piercings- Yeah.

20. Tattoos- Want one!

21. Righty or lefty- Righty

FIRSTS :

22. First surgery- Never had one

23. First piercing- When I was, erm, 3?

24. First best friends- Sara

26. First sport you joined- Tennis

27. First pet- golfishh!

28. First vacation- Dont remember

29. First concert- None

30. First crush- Lol, i don't know

RIGHT NOW:

49. Eatingg- Nothing

50. Drinking- Water

52. I'm about to- Sleep

53. Listening to- Nothing

55. Waiting for- Lol, nothing :P

YOUR FUTURE :

58. Want kids? Don't know

59. Want to get married? Maybe

60. Careers in mind? Law, probably.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

68. Lips or eyes- Eyes.

69. Hugs or kisses- Hugs.

70. Shorter or taller- Taller.

71. Older or Younger- Older.

72. Romantic or spontaneous- Romantic.

73. Nice stomach or nice arms- Nice stomach.

74. Sensitive or loud- Neither

75. Hook-up or relationship- Relationship.

77. Trouble maker or hesitant- Trouble maker.

HAVE YOU EVER :

78. Kissed a stranger- Nope!

80. Lost glasses/contacts- Never

81. Sex on first date- Nope.

82. Broken someone's heart- Not that I know of.

83. Had your own heart broken- Not really.

85. Been arrested- Nope.

86. Turned someone down- Yeah.

87. Cried when someone died- Yup

88. Liked a friend that is a girl?- Nope. (UGH)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

89. Yourself- Totally

90. Miracles- Yes.

91. Love at first sight-Nope

92. Heaven- no

93. Santa Clause- NO -.-

95. Kiss on the first date?- Err, no.

96. Angels- Oh yes, they're rrrright beside me.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - Yes.

98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? - No

100. Posting this as 100 Truths?- Yup.

A Beautiful Mess

This is purely a work of fiction.

__________________________

I am not the most optimistic person you will come across. No. I don't expect the best. You'll ask why I'm so cynical. I'll answer this question today. I'll answer everyone who complains of my being a pessimist.Once upon a time, there was a happy-go-lucky girl inside me. With no fears, doubts. Only hopes and aspirations. She was an idealist. She believed everything happened for the best. She loved colors.They made her feel alive. She loved the rainbow and would get excited at the sight of one. She said some stuff she shouldn't have sometimes, but that's okay, because she loved herself. She clumsily applied nailpaint. She loved cupcakes, and the icing on them. She thought everything and everyone was perfect. She was extraordinary. She loved. Immensely. Passionately. Truly. Deeply.

But not very long ago, her trust, faith was ripped apart. She came to know that everything has a bad side, and often, the bad takes over the good. The demons take over the angels. She was exposed to the ugly truth of life. And there she was, with her existence significant to no one but herself, sitting with her legs hugging her chest, with a river of tears flowing from her heavily kohled eyes, sniffing, puffy red swollen eyes..she just sat there. Silent and calm. There were so many question she wanted answers to. So many untold stories she wanted to hear. She wanted to know...so much. Some things are better left unsaid. She told herself. But the other part of her wanted to know. Every single detail. Every single moment. Every single truth. She lost control. She lost faith. She lost hope. She stopped loving. She stopped caring. She stopped..living. She was no more than a dead body.

Materialistic things stopped bothering her. As a matter of fact, nothing bothered her. Her existence was as good as nil. Each day went by..nothing changed. No one cared. She still sat in her dark room. With only one window which let some light peep through. Her legs hugging her chest. with a river of tears flowing from her heavily kohled eyes, sniffing, puffy red swollen eyes..she just sat there. She is the most fragile thing you've ever seen. It's like she would break any moment. Only with a touch. She looks beautiful.

She always prayed to God for a savoir. The one who would break all the chains, all the barriers and would set her free.The one who would make her feel beautiful. The one who would love her and embrace her with her flaws and imperfections. The one wouldn't promise her a miracle, but who will always be trying, for trying is what is important. But disappointed she was. She lost faith in God. She turned to Atheism. She thought if there was any God at all, He wouldn't let her go through so much pain and agony and misery. He would comfort her when she needed him to. He would give her strength and courage to face life. He would correct everything. He would...be there fixing her problems.

But most of all,

He would've have let her become the girl the originally was.

Diwali! :D

Diwali is here. My favourite time of the year :D Yay yay yay

The festivity. The colours. The dressing up. The rangolis. The diyas. The candles.

All of this makes me feel alive. I love each and every bit of it :D

So here's wishing everyone A VERRRY HAPPY DIWALI

Light your inner flame..and shine on ;)

To-do list.

Everyone has desires, wishes, et all. I do, too. I decided to make a Wishlist/Bucket list/to-do list. Here it goes. xD

1. I want to write a book. An autobiography, maybe? Writing is my passion. Period.

2. I want to travel all over the world. No tension, stress. Just trying to find myself in me.

3. I want to have a grand house. With books, books, books..and well books :D

4. I want to learn how to sing. I know I'm terrible at it, so I want to learn how to sing beautifully and then perform at a concert :D

5. I want to dance for 12 hours straight. In 6 inch heels. YES. xD

6. I want to go deep sea diving. Life underwater is MUCH MUCH better.

7. I want to put up an exhibition of my Artwork. Someday. Sigh*

8. I want to try motor racing. Thinking about makes me all excited. Trying it would be super cool. B-)

9. I want to lie on a beautiful beach. Look at the night sky. And fall asleep while counting the stars.:')

10. For once in my life, I want to be content and happy with whatever I have. Yes. I want to live a life without any worries.

"Everyone lives and dies, but some people, DIE AND LIVE "

Death. A small word isn't it? But a deep meaning it carries.

Death does not only affect one person, but the family, friends, well wishers of the person. Right?

Today morning, one of the World's greatest visionaries, Steve Jobs passed away of pancreatic cancer. Sad. That man was such an inspiration to so many of us. He started with nothing, but he grew to become what he was. He didn't receive formal education, but he was wise enough to set up a multi-million business. Education from an Ivy League college isn't as important as talent, hard work and dedication. Isn't he a perfect example for that? I think so.

So, here's to the greatest entrepreneur of all times. We salute you, sir!

May your soul rest in peace.

Our prayers and wishes are always with you.

Ox

Beautiful Chaos.

The beautiful chaos of life has turned ugly,

My existence now is not free.

My heart doesn't feel, nor does my soul express,

My mind is in distress.

I am so caught up in life, I have forgotten to live,

Love I have forgotten to give.

My existence is no more than a hollow form of life,

Nothing now hurts, even what once hurt like a knife.

You can stab my wounds till blood spurts,

But I swear it wouldn't hurt.

You can say the most spiteful words,

But I promise they will go unheard.

Whatever you do, I'm going to be immune to it,

For now I have a lot of grit.

But the desires I had as a child are still alive.

I want to smile a little before I cry,

I don't ever want to give up before I try.

I want to say the truths before I lie,

I want to live a little; love a little before I die...